..::° εn†iмos мoмεn†s °::..

Someone better than I

2012-01-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

Somewhat like Moses' plea, "Lord, please! Send someone else."

I still say, send somebody else!
Someone better than I.
Looking at my own ordinariness.
weaknesses & strengths,
ability & incapabilities...

Still you say GO. "I am BIGGER than you.
This is about what I specialize in.
Taking the ordinary and making it extraordinary.
That all people will know that I am behind it all, and will exalt Me."

So I will go.
And do my best with Your help, Your grace & Your supernatural power at work in my life.
Be Exalted my God!

countdown!

2011-11-07T07:05:00.000+08:00

Just for the record...

I graduate in 3 weeks!

4 years of study coming to its end. It's been an amazing journey.

Looking forward to ending it well :)

For what the future beholds, constantly reminding myself its in Your good hands.

And that I will surrender. No other way. Position me where You see well & fit.

Yours.

Pledges

2011-11-04T10:51:00.001+08:00

Are always best kept.

Even though painful at most times...

I do wonder if I were to withhold just a little bit so tht I will have more? hehh.

Trusting that You never shortchange :)

Happy Birthday (:

2011-10-21T00:07:00.001+08:00

Spending the last few mins with U

Surprisingly it is tears n sobs tht come to my eyes.

My heart somehow full of something I don't understand..

Just recommitting my life to You.

I don't know what You're doing or going to do

I feel as though I cannot breathe.

But one thing I know, and it's tht whatever happens,

I just want this life of mine to please You.

Nothing else matters.

So help me Lord.

Dealings...

2011-08-23T17:32:00.000+08:00

of the heart..

When they look at you, who do they see?

You be lifted high
Help me to fall on my knees so it's You that they see not I
Jesus You be lifted high

2011-08-15T13:46:00.001+08:00

"There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul. It is easy to make a mistake here, “If God gave it to me,” we say, “its mine. I can do what I want with it.” No. The truth is that it is ours to thank Him for and ours to offer back to Him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of – if we want to find our true selves, if we want real life, if our hearts are set on glory."

-- Elisabeth Elliot

OK Lord, I let go. Even where it's hard...and let You have Your way...

a question unanswered

2011-08-15T12:35:00.005+08:00

Dear Lord,

I'm settled in my heart with what I'm supposed to do.

But somewhere inside me,
I know I'm still wondering the answer to an unanswered question.

Silly me to still be hoping.

After all these years.

Telling myself maybe. Just maybe.

I'm not expecting it to happen.

But i've buried it time after time only for it to be uncovered again.

I think You know..

That tiny speck uncovered.

Enough to get me thinking if I should just let it go once and for all.

And move on :)

What happens when you come around?

What happens if you don't?

Are you?

I've left it waiting for this long, I think I want to know...

So that I can bury this silliness for good =]

Hands

2011-06-20T00:38:00.000+08:00

"Whatever you put your hands to do, it will prosper.

Ask and you will receive."

Would You fill these empty hands of mine with the fruits and bloom.

As I work in Your garden Lord.

Bless every work, let it bloom and grow for Your glory.

Am learning to count it a privilege and pure joy to do all that my hands find to do. (:

Pink with thorns

2011-05-21T01:55:00.003+08:00

Beautiful to behold. Prickly to touch.

Thank you for the rose and illustration that goes with it.

I appreciate the kind words and truthfulness.

I've given it some thought..

and I think

She can only try to be less thorny.

Cos there's bound to be some hidden thorn somewhere.

The harder one tries, the more painful her pricks become.

The less careful one is, the likelier one gets pricked.

But in the same manner,
The more gentle one is, the less likely one will be pricked.

So, I think the question to ask is, "is this rose worth it?"

For the thorns can only be removed by her Maker or her Gardener.

And when the right time comes for the rose to be presented,

I'm sure the thorns would have been 'cut off' or pruned.
And presented before you, a rose unlike any other.

lol. what say you?

My Question Answered

2011-05-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

Do I need to stop saying its OK when it's not?

Part of me wants to scream out YES. But, the other part says that it's OK. and even if its not, it will be OK.

And so I shall be rest assured in that. Cos You make all things beautiful in Your time.

I will trust in You.

When stormy clouds roll in,

And trials come my way.

I'll let my heart hear Your still small voice calling me to look to You.

That it will be OK.

Thank You for loving me.

Are U in...

2011-05-19T14:29:00.001+08:00

Love or Infatuation?

so.if.you're.wondering..

When you wake up from an infatuation, you see the ugliness of the person and wonder if you really were in love.

When you are in love, you'd want to love the ugliness into beauty.

When you're infatuated, all you want is to please the person.
When you're in love, you want to help the person be more pleasing.

Forgive me Lord for the many times I have erred and caused those who care for me feel unappreciated.
I guess we're all still in a learning process. Somedays we are blinded from certain things and some days our eyes are opened =p

I'd like to think that I'll learn to love, and act in love. and love like Jesus.

As I walk from Earth into Eternity.

i remember...

2011-05-15T20:13:00.002+08:00

in moments like these...
When there's so much to say that cannot be said.

It's hard when you feel disappointed.

I shouldn't have thought I deserved it.

Or deserved better.

Now, I've to eat my own words.

Funny, and at the same time not.

I shouldn't have allowed my heart to get in the way. Oh wells.

Time to pick it back up.

I need You to help me Lord.

You're the keeper of my heart :)
You were right to say "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Letting Go

2011-05-14T02:11:00.002+08:00

My scores' settled.

The thought that crossed my mind is
"if i'm a jerk. it doesn't mean you've to be one too."
Aih.

I really want to say, own up, and I would respect you for that. You'll see.
But because I've made up my mind, it's not supposed to bother me.

But, God grant me the grace. I'm only human.

2011-04-30T00:47:00.001+08:00

One of those nights where I wonder

"why am I doing what I'm doing.. And if I'm doing it right?"

Perhaps it's part of the resistance to the stretching?

Well, grow up I'm told.

No need for whining but a deep knowing in my heart why.

God, You'll be my sustaining grace.

sudden realization...

2011-04-22T17:38:00.000+08:00

the time of s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g seems to be the season now...

somehow, after 1-2 yrs of filling into the mould... just as I'm trying to be on top of things the mould starts to expand. Almost forgotten how it feels like.

The pain, the desperation, the lethargy that tries to overwhelm...

May i keep learning to turn them over to the Lord and be so dependent on Him and not myself.

It never ends (: Help me enjoy this season Lord, the last before I graduate and much more to come (:

somewhere within

2011-04-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

maybe i am a softie...

Who would appreciate sweet words

that melt the soul.

And then i think,

Lord I love You and want to tell you so (:

Cos surely if I'd like to hear it,

Its because You do too.

Just to be lost in You (:

2011-03-25T01:22:00.000+08:00

Just a glimpse of Your awesomeness

Changes me

Just a taste of Your presence

Brings me to my knees

Captured by Your glory

Lost in the beauty of Your face

Standing here in silence

Waiting to be swept away

By You (Come and sweep me away) (So in love with You)

By You (To a secret place) (Take me away)

By You (I hide myself in You) (You're so beautiful)

By You (O Lord)

I'm changed by your presence Lord

I'm made new by Your Spirit O God

I'm lost in Your holiness

I'm changed by the awesomeness of You

Please,

2011-03-19T00:03:00.002+08:00

Don't just dress to impress.

Underneath all that, is that who you really are?

'Cos I'm not interested in the exterior.

Don't just dress to impress.

I want to see who you really are for who you are.

'Cos its your heart that matters to me.

You don't need to dress to impress me.

Come just as you are.

'Cos that is what I require.

hello!

2011-03-17T18:46:00.002+08:00

Dear diary,
The past, the present and the future.

revisited, rewritten and being written.

For all that it holds,

I know.

It is You.
Who (has worked) and who works all things out for the good of those who love You,
who have been called according to Your purpose.
I holding on to Your promises.
Firm on them I choose to stand.

I commit all my plans, my life, my heart into Your hands.

Thank You Lord for Your faithfulness all these years.

I know its true.

It's only You (:

The Grace of Giving

2011-03-07T16:23:00.000+08:00

Your Grace and Generousity astounds me.

yes, i am learning that to be generous is not to be over calculative.

I think my next prayer is not just to guard my mouth but my eyes, mind and heart.

Oh Jesus. How I need You.

The thought of "what is it to you" if I want to give.

Brought tears to my eyes.

Why am I feeling the pain/injustice/unfairness on someone elses behalf?

When I myself have and still am a recipient of this grace of giving...

Unworthy yet given.

I cannot comprehend.

But thank You for continually teaching me these lessons.

More of U (:

2011-03-02T00:35:00.003+08:00

Lord I want more of You
Living Water rain down on me
Lord I need more of You
Living breath of life come and fill me up

I hunger and thirst for You, Jesus (:
And I'm desperate for You.

Pay Attention

2011-02-28T02:48:00.000+08:00

Heed the Word of God
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit
Do not set a monument for yourself
Do not use the Name of God in vain
Do not forget your humble beginnings
Do not blame others
Obedience is better than sacrifice
Do no fear man but God
Do not put on a false image as your security
Do not forget the Giver of your blessings
Do not have plans against the will of God

- PJK's sermon -

Points that help us put away pretension and falsehood and helps us speak the truth and be real! (:

Mandarin Day =P

2011-02-23T19:01:00.001+08:00

jing tian jue de you yi dian dian xing ku.

you hen xiang ku :(

ke shi ku bu neng...

Shen, wo bu shi jue de hen lei

shi wo xin jue de zhong...

Wo yau gen nu li zuo ni gei wo de shi qing

Wo bu yau fang qi

Shen, qiu ni gei wo li liang

Ying wei wo chi tau Ni de en dian shi gou wo yong =)

xie xie Ni =D

Take it to the Lord in Prayer

2011-02-22T01:35:00.000+08:00

I cast, all my cares upon You

I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet

At anytime, I don't know what to do

I will cast all my cares upon You.

Got to learn to let go the burdens,

Carry ministry and people in prayer in my heart.

Don't get so caught up with the many things around.

2011-02-21T01:52:00.003+08:00

So many things on my mind pending... Awaiting solutions, answers, decisions, attention... I cant function, cant put my mind to it... I dont know how 2 do this Lord, please help!

Hello CNY 2011

2011-02-05T02:33:00.000+08:00

Lou Yee Sang for a good year ahead for each member of the family :D

Family Portraits :)

Gong Xi Ni :)

And.. we have 5 Rabbits in this family :P

We certainly had FUN this CNY :) Family Get-Togethers are good!

Thank You God for this beautiful family.

Only You know us for who we are and You've put us together for a reason.

May we continue to be the support and strength for each other.

Let Your abundant blessing and favour be poured forth onto each one,

keep each one safe in Your loving arms,

And may those who have not known You come to know You too!

Love,

Angeline (:

New Hairdo?

2011-02-05T01:18:00.000+08:00

Grandma tore this out of a magazine at her saloon and asked me to give it a try!

Happening betul dia!

My CNY

2011-02-03T16:34:00.001+08:00

Its my 1st year of being in PJ for CNY! We always always go back to Sg. Petani to celebrate. I like the idea of not traveling cos the CNY holiday sure seems longer when you don't have to travel! So, to make it count and be productive...

went to market with mom
built muscles carrying the ton of meat >.< (ok, more like ached my muscles)
Painted mom's and my toe nails
Changed my bedsheets
Finished readings (well, there's a lot more to go)
Spring cleaned my closet
Watched dramas, movies
Finished Plants vs. Zombies
Revised Greek words

There's still like a ton of things to get started with... but it is a HOLIDAY!! :D and i shall not miss wishing you...

Gong Xi Gong Xi

And a Bunny New Year!!

:) tung tung chiang!

Toning down =p

2011-02-02T01:45:00.001+08:00

Too idealistic?

Unrealistic expectations?

Thts what I usually tell people!

But somehow today I have been told that I have too high expectations..

I don't quite agree on it and I cannot see eye to eye on this matter yet.

However, it is a word of caution to myself when I am on a roll.

Mum says it could just be my lifestyle and I need more patience.

She says I've got less patience as compared to before.

My reply was that I think I never had much patience to begin with?

And what wisdom did she have to tell me "then, it's about time to start" >.<

Sigh.. So is it me? Is it you? Or is it someone else??

I guess it is another learning curve for me!

Cos I'm always at bcm and hardly home I've missed out on growing together with my family.

Am so used to doing things on my own, living life the way I like it...

That Holidays at home is usually a good reality check and reminder that I don't exist alone!

Ah the joys and the and challenges of community living!

The challenge of connecting frequencies - tuning up or tuning down / high or low...

Breaking down communication barriers, loving because it is the right thing to do,

Going the extra extra extra mile bcos it's Family (:

10 Words...

2011-01-30T00:58:00.001+08:00

Where your heart is, there your treasure will be also...

Its been a challenge to keep this deceitful heart of mine in check.

To the point when i ask myself, if i had just 10 words to express my thoughts..

I just don't know what to say!

I am just so cluttered in thought.

Tired of reminding myself. Again and Again.

Thought maybe its a good idea to store it away hidden in a cupboard?
But today You search my heart deep within and
Reminded me of this ever so precious scripture and promise from God!

"Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart."

For this, I know that it is NOT futile effort to keep pleasing God, doing that which He delights in.

To Walk with Him, Fear Him, Love Him, Serve Him
Guard my Heart and Mind,
With my heart, soul and mind...

Jesus, forgive me.
Help me to check my heart, to delight myself in You & to store up my treasures in You (=
I know You know I'm not perfect, You know this deceitful and desperately wicked heart.
And still You chose to save it, search it, test it and make it clean.
Thank U for performing the surgery I need.

I'm so amazed. I choose to honor You! :D

Oops! 10 words became a whole lot more than just 10! *sheepish* =D

Blessed to have U (:

2011-01-27T00:14:00.002+08:00

I'm being reminded the He never skips a beat or misses out even the tiniest detail in His planning! Just looking at how He planned the Great Egypt Escape! From the plagues, to the Red Sea to F&B to the guiding pillar of fire n cloud... I know I need not worry nor fret nor complain... Cos U're in control :)

I know full well that I can be still and know that You are God :)

Find rest my soul in Christ alone,
Know His power in quietness and trust!

What a privilege to have this choice to put my trust in U! =)

mental notes.

2011-01-26T00:59:00.001+08:00

Been needing so much more of this pit stop moment reminders.

Is really learning to wait and be rest assured.

Everything's going to be OK because You say I can trust in You =D

So I will!

Note to self: stay focused and don't go worrying over things I don't have to worry about!

Thank You!! (=

To be more like You

2011-01-25T00:34:00.002+08:00

I wish it were easier done than said :)

Being reminded of my weaknesses and limitations

help me see that I am still a work in progress very much in need of The Master's touch and grace.

Remove the ME element that is always fighting to take front seat.

That YOU may increase and be the image and personhood I bear.

Much breaking and dying to self and denying of self and taking up my cross to do...

But let it be a joy.

A joy to be more like You =)

Girly time!

2011-01-10T02:16:00.000+08:00

So much to say, so much I would like to share in the little time we have tomorrow.

Lord, help me to go straight to the heart of Your message for us.

Something light?

Something funny?

Something serious?

It is an all-girls meeting right? :P

Part of me thinks we should go crazy!

Go girly?

I think I'm heading towards something more warm and fuzzy (:

New thoughts, fresh reminders.

About beauty. She doesn't strive, doesn't demand.

She flows from the inside out.

Just preparing for 15 mins has taken me hours and hours of preparing, changing, praying. I can't imagine preparing sermons. *gulps!*

However, I have no regrets from spending these hours pouring over Your Word, past lessons learned and revisiting familiar emotions.

Thank You!

I only need to apologize to myself for not studying my greek... which i guess shall be done tomorrow ;)

Sneak Peak Verse:

The LORD your God is with you,
   He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
   He will quiet you with His love,
   He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Still forming the flow. Lord, Helps! Let me hear and say that which U want to say to us =)

Back in BCM

2011-01-04T15:24:00.000+08:00

Back to the usual spot.

There is much ahead. But it shall be one day at a time :)

Hope to update along the way ;)

friendships.

2011-01-02T15:17:00.000+08:00

Looking back, it has been 7 years.

Today made me miss my *cough* younger days. haha.

How time flies.

Strangely enough I was going through the contents of one of my pretty mooncake boxes. Those long ago handwritten and snail mail posted letters, cards, Christmas greetings, birthday wishes, friendship notes, all the way till this recent Christmas. Things that made me smile all nicely kept in a box, in the cupboard.

I'm not one to reminisce on the past but as i kept away new cards, I decided to pick some of the old ones up to read. Something i've not done for a long long time! Some made my heart grow wings and flutter! haha.

I realize how many good friends I've lost touch with especially in schooling days.

It sure is a timely reminder.

God, help me not to stop being to a friend to people around me as i journey on this road to answering Your call. Help me to be real, not someone who just puts up a front leader/person.
It's time.

Thank you FRIENDS who have stood by me, prayed with me, laughed and cried along. Thank you for your encouragements and love and corrections.

Even as we have mostly parted ways to different paths, build other social circles, some still studying, others climbing up the corporate ladders, may 2011 have days where you'll remember the simple days of friendship and love.

Don't let the complexity of things present and future dim the smiles on your faces, or sap the youthfulness and vigor or cloud the purity of your faith.

May God watch over and send help to you when you need it most.

Much love (:

The Good Times..

2010-12-21T00:30:00.000+08:00

So many things to thank God this year!

But one of which I am thankful and grateful for today is this group of friends I have =)

It's been a while since we hung out together as one whole group. Had to ransack through my facebook to get this pic =)

It may seem like we're all embarking on different paths...

As we transition from student life to working life,

We still have common things to bond us together: Smiles, Laughter & the memories.

And we can create many more in the future.

Thank you for your friendship, love & time.

I wish & pray for you all to have the best!

Through the ups and downs, that you would experience grace & strength for each day.

And not give up the most important things in life =)

may God bless, protect & love you & ur families!

As the end of the year draws nigh...

2010-12-17T16:19:00.000+08:00

Jingle Bells, Carols, Parties, Food & Feast,

Its all about Christmas, Youth Camp, Thanksgiving, and 2011.

Butterflies in my tummy as I type.

Wondering if it is in anticipation or am I just anxious from uncertainty for what is to come...

When I think I'm ready for all that is to come... I realize I am so unprepared actually.

Cos I...

Don't want to mess up.

Don't want to miss opportunities.

Don't want to make a wrong decision...

The whole process & package of Learning that YOU are in control.

Thankfully its You and not me.

Reminded of Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of GOD, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers (sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Its not me. Its You.

*whispers: Thank You* (:

brambles!

2010-11-14T01:15:00.001+08:00

Boo. me no likey how time flies.

Or how easily distracted I am.

Like now.

Typing away at my assignment but my mind's wandering about.

To the point of blogging -.-

Seriously, i tend to blog more when im doing my assignments.

Strange.

Think assignments generate a flow of thought I dont normally have.

haha!

In fact, there have been several issues that seem to be floating up to the surface.

I wonder how long more can I keep them under covers.

God, i think You're dealing with some of the issues in my heart.

Are You sure You wanna dig out the ugliness?

If only leaving 'em all buried is an option.

I think all of it is going to show me that I'm really nothing without You.

Gonna be an OUCH process (>.<)

I'll try to remember what You laid upon my heart

About You being the potter and I the clay.

And that if I'm willing, You certainly are.
Well, mould me however You see fit
and yes, help to rid off all that stuff that doesnt make You look good!

There's another thing that's bugging me...

And its the piecing together of all the theological subjects i've been learning.

How to come to a point of comprehension or even attempt to allow all of it to form my theological understanding.

Then, to come to a point of what has it got to do with this world!?!

God, this seems so BIG.

3 years in BCM and I still feel like I actually know nothing...

or that i still have such a sheltered and unquestioning mind.

Helpless sangat...! Does this mean i need to be more nose-y and probe deeper in?

=.= Well, I guess i'll just have to let it surface up sometime...

But for noww... I think its Jeremiah and I. Please get this assgmt done already!! haha!

I'll just...

2010-11-03T08:15:00.000+08:00

Let the rain of Your presence fall on me

Every day that I live

Every breath that I breathe

Let the rain of Your presence fall on me

Every where that I go

Lord let Your presence flow rain on me

Love Divine, Joy Unspeakable

Overflowing in my soul

This heart of mine

Is refreshed and at rest in Your presence

In Your presence

You love me so much.

Romance me

In the Beauty of Your presence.

One that captivates my heart.

Stir within me a hunger and thirst for more of You

A wanting to be drawn closer to You.

Deeper and deeper in love with You.

Reveal Yourself as I learn to delight myself in You.

Help me to prioritize, guard and jealously protect this sacred time and relationship I have with You.

Forgive me for not taking enough time, not lingering long in prayer or worship.

Help me to 'stay' in Your presence, hear what You want to say.

Help me to be devoted to loving You.

More and more.

"Oh, how I love Jesus (x3) Because He first loved me..." =)

of priorities & grace

2010-10-28T03:13:00.001+08:00

For that which is precious, can I lay all other important agenda's aside?

Search my heart Lord.

The fundamental lies in the core of my response to grace.

Truth is not always humility, humility is always truth.

Lord, have mercy on me.

Help me to be so ever needing of Your grace.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Tough words.

But thank You for Your reminder.

What Do You See?

2010-10-25T01:17:00.000+08:00

an old woman or a young woman?? :P

Can you see beauty in the ugly?

My mum just has a knack at picking something I think is ugly,

but after putting it on I think, 'eyh!! not bad!' :)

I can quite often trust myself to pick up something 'nice' that isnt =.=

Some people are just able to see goodness in a terrible situation,

Some, a rainbow at the end of the storm.

Some, a ray of light in the midst of darkness.

Or the light at the end of the tunnel

Some, the sliver lining of the cloud.

Some, hope in the midst of turbulence.

Some, can manage a smile in the time of tension.

Some, a breakthrough in every challenge.

Some, the breaking of the dawn in the darkest of nights

Some, peace that will come after the storm,

Some, a dance even in the saddest of songs.

There's love for everyday.

How about you?

Is there always something to be thankful of, something to praise?

Can I see this Supernatural intervention in the natural,

That causes the beautiful to come out of the seemingly ugly?

Enable me too God to see like You do.

Not to draw quick-ended conclusions and judgments upon people.

But to really see BEAUTY in the 'unsightly'.

If not for You

2010-10-10T22:45:00.001+08:00

A clean record?

Its really nothing to shout about.

All these achievements or i'm better than you thoughts

are really just self-gratifying and egoistic.

My righteousness are like filthy rags in Your eyes.

Strip away my pride.

All of it.

Forgive me

For I am no better than another,

I am no stronger than another,

I am no more spiritual than another.

So, i make it my prayer today

"That You would walk with me every step of the way."

For I am reminded that if it were not for You walking with me

I would not have what I have today.

Or be who I am today if not for Your mercy and Your grace.

Thank You for walking with me.

Guiding my every step.

Having the sneezies!

2010-10-10T00:05:00.001+08:00

achooo!! =p

somehow the flu bug has been getting to me.
just like the sparkly dust gets the cute adorable sneezies -- an addictive game on the ipad/itouch :P

Gotta sleep off the sneezes and runny nose.
So, g'nite saturday and hello sunday! =)

A Lochinvar

2010-10-06T00:02:00.003+08:00

Every girl needs her fairytale. A story. A song. A dream come true. A hope. A sparkle. :)
I'll know someday.
Finished reading The Stars Shine Down.
It was a captivating read. Could hardly put t book down. Glad 2be done with it cos i've got assgmts to look into as well! Hehe.
Oh, I watched the A-team on dvd too. Am really loving tis HOLIDAY of mine ;)
Off to sing-a-pore in the mornin' ;)

Paint me a Rainbow

2010-10-05T00:52:00.001+08:00

Been thinking.

But I don't know what.

hahaha.

So Excited that i keep thinking its TMR but its actually the Day After Tomorrow. Lol.

Randomness :P

its been a while! hahahaha.

Ok. Back to some readings b4 i say G'nite world (:

An old song

2010-09-27T17:51:00.001+08:00

My Jesus, I'm found in You

You're my Saviour

You chose me before the world

And You called my name

I will go with You through the valley

I will soar above every mountain

I will trust Your Word deep within my heart

I will live for You

I know my future's in Your hands

All of my hopes and dreams and plans

You give me strength to live and faith to succeed

I believe in You because You believed in me

I used to sing it and it would make me cry..

For it was a song of heartfelt dedication to a cause I had yet to discover.

A song of assurance that IF full time was the road to take.

A song of Lord, here I am, I'll give of my all to You and live for You.

A song of thanksgiving that my future is in the hands of One who believes in me :)

yesterday brought back memories though not tears.
Singing it yesterday gave an entirely different meaning and feeling altogether..

How my 'dream' of going full time has already been realized.

It felt like i had 'attained' what I have wanted to see happen in my life.

But giving it a second thought, i know that i am in trouble of being status quo.

Angeline,

Wake up!!

you are far from 'attaining' the plan God has for your life!

One more year left in Bible school only says....

Time is ticking!!

The future so BIG ahead,

The possibilities so vast and wide,

Which route to take?

Where do I stand?
What is in store ahead???
There has to be something in my heart.
There has to be something that I long for to do?

It is time to have my heart searched.

Am I heading the right direction?

Its time to evaluate.

Am I doing enough of the right thing?

Lord, I believe You've called me to a specific purpose.

And I want to be ready for that.

Help me prepare myself from today onwards.

To give my best in all that You've placed in my way.

I will delight myself in You.

Beautiful Feet

2010-09-21T19:32:00.000+08:00

"How beautiful are the feel of those who bring Good News"

What news does thou bear?

Jesus help me to live up to my name,

To make You known,

Your faithfulness to all generations.

To bring good news to those who have not heard.

To bear Your Truth.

To be Your Messenger.

I hear You beckoning me to pray and go.. Here I am!

I pour my love on You

2010-09-21T19:23:00.001+08:00

I don't know how to say exactly how I feel

And I can't begin to tell You what Your love has meant

I'm lost for words

Is there a way to show the passion in my heart

Can I express how truly great I think You are

You're my dearest friend

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on You

Like oil upon Your feet

Like wine for You to drink

Life water from my heart

I pour my love on You

With praises like the perfume

I lavish mine on You

Till every drop is gone

I pour my love on You

Such a beautiful song :)

So wonderful to take a breather after a busy day just to love Jesus.

At times i really think i need to speak less. And just let things pass.

I hear You say...

There's no need to voice out certain things is there?

Forgive me Lord and give me a bridle for my tongue.

Let my mouth be used for praise unto You

And used for uplifting and encouraging people.

Take the coal, cleanse my lips. Here I am.

I think can? Hush now and be a vessel of love (:

Checked the date - a milestone!

2010-09-16T02:00:00.002+08:00

It has been 5 years.

since 15 Sept 2005.

I've actually forgot about it.

Interesting how when one is young,

one makes little steps,

secret promises

and turn them into milestones.

Some days i do a countdown and I dream and wonder what will come after.

It is afterall every girl's dream.

But most days it's not even something I think about until a spark happens.

so it is a reminder that time flies by whether we know it or not.

where is the urgency?

Is there none?

Today I celebrate His grace and His faithfulness.

I am amazed, glad and half relieved that this season has come to an end.

There are still steps to take before the new season.

The race has not ended.

Looking forward to what is to come.

What, who when, how He will bring and lead.

Meanwhile,

I will continue to do what i always do, wait patiently and assuredly.

[Help me not to jump ahead of You in my excitement!] =p

Yours truly (:

kaching!

2010-09-07T23:37:00.000+08:00

I cannot understand spiritual 'banking'.

How do you expect to invest for tomorrow if you don't even invest enough for today?

But... it is impossible to even invest 'enough' for today! (>.<)''

How Lord? What are you trying to say?

Yet, i am reminded that it's not just about 'investing' but a relationship. haha.

Help me Jesus (:

the slowdown, is a must!

2010-09-07T00:15:00.001+08:00

Heart rate: Fast!
Everything seems to be going so so fast. *pants!!* heh..

Was at the Desa Water Park with Sect 5B cell today. We -- They had FUN!

I did too. But in the unexpected way. Was supposed to have fun with my books. And catch up on the readings. But big prawn me LEFT the books at BCM. =.=''

Sometimes i wonder why do i do such things to myself :)

So i became happy snapper and got some away time to pray.

Not much somehow cos time flew by. But it was a 'good' getaway (:

I am reminded to slowdown, to stay clear of the 'stress' border, and to rest early... by my pimples.

They're popping up FAST too :(

So the slowdown, is a must!

Gnites ppl (:

On Bended Knees

2010-09-02T09:21:00.003+08:00

I know its true... I am Today because of someone elses prayer =)

Things don't just happen.

I must invest today what I want to see tomorrow and years down the journey :)

Was inspired and awestruck by the testimony of Jaeson Ma.

How he hopped on the bandwagon of God's plan for his generation,

his passion for this generation and reaching out to them

And most of all how it all began in his 4 years in college: Spending 4 hours daily in prayer.

O.o

I mean even in Bible school I don't do that!

*violin playing at the background...*

Danny & I looked at each other and I won't forget what was said, "It's really prayer."

It begins on one's knees.

There's hustle bustle everyday. But starting today,

is there something I Sacrifice, something I can Invest a little

for the sake of my generation?

Lord, I don't know what are the plans in store for this generation. But I know that they are good.

And I don't want to be found shortchanging myself of being a part of this great plan You have.

Help me to begin today, a little more everyday.

Break my heart for the things that break Your heart.

Let there be tears for someone elses pain

Place eternity in my heart

Let it begin with me on bended knees

Slow down!

2010-08-29T23:02:00.004+08:00

Take your pick

To be as relaxed as Mr. Tortoise... one must must must

Eliminate HURRY

Stop the hurrying disease
Multitasking has its cons
There is no microwaving maturity
It makes one superficial
Loving deeply, takes time.
Stop the sunset fatigue
Find time to withdraw. Even though its hard.

Some pointers I had jotted down one Tuesday at staff devotion... =)

So freely He gave

2010-08-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

And I have received....

So much to reflect upon.

Thank You for loving me. more than i could ever know.

I am blessed to be reminded... that the greatest of these...

Help me God to love You more & more each day (:

4am

2010-08-27T16:13:00.002+08:00

At the Ti's Wedding Dinner :)

Stayed up chatting with Yu Li till 4am.

We probably talked about everything revolving about us.

I'm glad I had the opportunity to just download all that's keeping my heart happy, anxious, distracted, excited!

I just know that there really are so so many things that are happening, and so fast.

And its impossible to chase them or catch up...

That has taken a slight toll on me. The struggle between being patient and being up to par, up to date. rawr! :P

Anyways, its finally a HOLIDAY and i've been able to give myself a bit of time out. Helped my new roomie to set up her PC. (but not quite as successfully as i hope - the internet connection is whacky and i can't decipher why!) :( Curled up i n bed and finished the book on Billy Graham - The Final Crusade: Messages for our time. He really is such an inspiration. His message is so clear. He doesn't shove the Gospel down the throats of the thousands of ppl who came and yet, he did not shortchange them of the Real Power of the Gospel.

Brings my memory back to class the past few days... How because of post modernity the message of the Gospel is being watered down and Its transforming power being put aside in exchange for selfish definitions of spirituality... What is it that we really need in this world? :) The needs never change.. the need to be loved, the need to have a purpose in life, the need to be satisfied...

You and I can find it in God, in Jesus Christ. (:

Call upon Him and be saved.

Call upon Him and know in Your heart that You'll never again be walking alone.

Call upon Him and have a future, a purpose, a destination in life. Walk in His plans to prosper you :)

Call upon Him and be changed!

Call upon Him who loves You so so much! =)

Let Christ fill your heart.

Thank You Jesus for reminding me again and again that You're with me.

Continue to help me on this journey... not to struggle and strive on my own

But to be at peace, at rest and so secure that You're my great God and Saviour!

Checking in! :)

2010-08-23T00:05:00.001+08:00

wow. its been a month since i had checked in.

Been tweeting all the random and heartfelt thoughts thats why...

So, much has been going on that i don't know where to begin!!

Still i will say, slowly but surely.

God has been depositing lots in my heart the past couple of weeks.

Guess my 3rd year in Bible School is going to be taking another turn real soon.

Just when i thought that its going to be just about the same as 2nd year.

But with a little more oomph and steadying.

The new semester starts tmr.

I'm excited that we'll be back in school.

Not so excited about the duties and chores i've been relieved from for 3 weeks.

haha!

Believing that He's got something up in store for me.

Knowing that I'm going to have to play my part.

Starting with going down on m knees.

I'm scared. Don't know if I've got what it takes to sustain.

But if that's the ONE thing to do.

Help me do this Lord! :)
>>> Get on my k.n.e.e.s.

To try or not to try.

2010-07-17T01:00:00.001+08:00

If you're not sure, don't bother. Cos i need you to be sure.

The Author

2010-07-08T23:58:00.001+08:00

What picture do I paint?

Seems that everyday is a puzzle piece to fix.

What is Your big picture Lord?

I have no idea what i'm writing on the pages everyday.

It all seems like scribbles when I look back.

I return to You the pen I have taken from Your hand in my excitement of You writing Your story of my life.

Take authorship of my life.

My life is not my own.

So come, take control (:

I know Your plans are good.

The Author

2010-06-24T20:26:00.000+08:00

Ever read a novel? Often you will be confused during the opening chapters. New characters are introduced, seemingly random events take place. Subplots are complicated and don't seem to make any sense in relation to the main plot. But if you choose to learn to keep reading, you will find that the author will weave them all together byt he end of the book. Eventually each element will be meaningful.

So it is with answers to our prayers. At times we receive what we ask, at times we don't. Accepting both by faith has to be a conscious choice. We choose to trust that before the book closes, the Author of our lives will make things clear. We also choose to believe this important advice from the Author Himself: Proverbs 3: 5-6

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Thank You Lord for penning my life =)

Learning to appreciate all that is happening around me. The lessons that I'm learning. The people that I come in contact with. The friends that I have. The classes that I can take.

The time span that I'm given here on earth is not going to be forever. So help me make the most of it Lord.

Love,

me.

Through Christ

2010-06-21T23:53:00.001+08:00

The same God who Called me
Is the same God who Promised me that He will strengthen me and help me,
Is the same God who has given me 24 hours,
Is the same God who enables me to do all things through Christ who gives me strength!

I can do all things through Christ

I can move a mountain

If You are the strength of my life

I can do all things through Christ

WHEN You are the strength of my life

Whenever trials come my way

I will worship You always

Forever Trust in Your Unfailing Love

Whenever doubt and fear creep in

I still hear Your voice within

Forever Trust in Your Unfailing Love

Turn off the sparks!

2010-06-20T19:03:00.000+08:00

Been rather snappy when i lose control of my cool. God, I need You to help transform me into one who is quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Gonna click on the button =) hee!

Its going to be 3 long weeks. Crash course begins. Eteam to PENANG this weekend. Its one month away till the end of the term. Gotta buck up on the assignments and readings. Prayers are coveted!

Thank U!

Lil. Miss Bossy

2010-06-11T01:34:00.000+08:00

That I am.

And I really wish it would all end with a *snap!* of my fingers.

Can't seem to get it all right :(

Can't seem to find the right one.

Trusting that it will turn out right :)

God, U know what I need.

Better than I do.

I surrender to You.

My BIG Boss.

Happenings @ Chung Chit

2010-06-07T02:38:00.000+08:00

Grandma asks, "pak tho mei ah???"

Guess she's quite kan cheong for me.

Told her, "popo, then u must pray for me."

She said, "can... ying chun, siu sar, kou tai wai mang, yau chin" :P

I said add love God and parents said faithful.

One of the MUST bring up topics whenever i meet granny.

hehh.

Coming back to the main point,

We went to visited for chung chit and had yummy yummy chung made with TLC! :D

Here is the chef and masterpiece :)

love u popo! (:

Sometimes,

2010-05-31T00:17:00.001+08:00

I wish you'd talk.

I want to know whats on your mind.

Want to hear what you've got to say.

Want to feel whats in your heart

Check in!

2010-05-30T00:34:00.000+08:00

Wonder why i do this to myself.

Sometimes it does feel like torture :P

Thank God for friends who can hear me out.

Friends with wisdom and who'd love the good, bad and ugly of me.

Once again i commit myself to You.

All that I am and my future to You.

There's just so much of me that still needs moulding, refining.

Glad i'm on training ground.

Believe that one day i will spread my wings, 'take off' and fly (:

It is me again Lord. Checking in.

In this place again

2010-05-15T01:44:00.000+08:00

Its interesting how I've gone in circles.

Lets hope I can come out of this rounding 'wilderness' soon.

Was so touched when Ps. Gwen dropped me an sms in the morning to say she thought of me this morning and prayed the following verse over me.

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Its strange and mystifying how God knows what I need even before I realized that I need it.

Ignorant and perhaps a little foolish.

Initially I thought oh, ok. don't think i am going through any particular thing in my life and in fact i really believed and thought that all was OK. haha. But He really knows best. Cos it suddenly 'hit' me that this was the exact thing I needed to put to practice in a certain area of my life!

Been contemplating, ignoring, shoving aside.

Been trying to convince myself, bluff myself, be true to myself.

Been caught hoping, dampening, toying.

But now I know, all I need is to surrender again.

To not be anxious but to commit in prayer.

To allow the Peace of God guard my heart and mind.

I can thoroughly REJOICE and be gentle.

I can pray and feel good about it.

I can think clearly and be real.

I can be thankful :D

So can you.

Sometimes I wonder

2010-05-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

Why do I even bother.

=.=''

Do i really care about what's behind?

Or do i just care about being right?

Or i just really want to get over and done with it.

Is it a choice?

Or an obligation?

A right?

Or a responsibility.

I hate legalistic.

But somehow i'm finding myself more legalistic that I hope to be.

Perhaps I would do better living on an island.

Cause less misery to myself and people.

Am I real?

When do I turn on superficial mode?

People want to hear you.

Not somebody else.

Remember.

People want to be heard.

Not sidelined.

I need to listen more.

Talk less.

Be more patient.

Be less irritable.

Less egoistic.

roar.

How? Aih.

A bullet train of thoughts fighting to be out of my pea-sized brain.

Perhaps its a sign that I'm tired and need to be at rest.

Lord, I know only one way - Help me, God.

Grant me the wisdom and the character that I need.

me thinks.

2010-05-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

forgetting is sometimes not a bad thing.

my determination sometimes surpasses my expectations, but it is really tempting just to give in.

But, hard as it may be, i'll hold and keep the handbrakes up.

for my own good.

Help me, God.

Backtracking

2010-05-03T12:19:00.003+08:00

Found scraps of paper with scribbles on it.

Treasures, Memories. Words.

If i can be so happy to deliver mcd's to friends, I can't imagine the joy You have delivering today's surprises to me!!

Some days I struggle with inconsistency, wishing, fighting emotions, temptations.

Having the ongoing battle between the will, the flesh and the spirit.

Asking myself who will triumph?

It is me, the same person struggling all these..

I'm so in need of You.

Brain jammm! Tomorrow, I shall arise earlier to walk.

Sometimes, guilt drives me to press on,

Sometimes, it makes me give up altogether.

Either way, this guilt has no hold, no right over my life.

Angeline, wake up! The time has come to ARISE, SHINE and OVERCOME!

It is interesting when i read back the things that i've written.

All just to try to capture the moment I lived in.

So many long forgotten.

Some put a smile on my face because they're sweet.

Some make me squirm at how silly i am at times.

Some perhaps when i get the time to i'd delete.

Some i'll want to leave it on forever.

Everyday is a brand new day, Each day one that I can commit unto You.

If the Lord delights in a man's way,

He makes his steps firm.

Though he stumble he will not fall

for the Lord upholds him with His hand.

Psalms 37: 23-24

I want to delight You (:

Supernaturally Natural,

Shepherd the flock - from my heart

Care like Jesus Cares.

Treasures in pots of gold or in lives?

2010-05-01T12:48:00.001+08:00

The more we run after things, the more our passion for the Kingdom dies,

What am I running after?

Mankind is always trying to make himself/herself more comfortable.

Comfort dampens one's desire to come out of comfy zone.

Comfort hinders us from doing that which is outside of our little box.

Comfort makes me lazy. (im not sure about u?) :P

Like the baby eaglet whose potential is to fly,

is stirred up from its comfortable nest to learn how to fly.

It cannot achieve much staying in the nest.

There is so much more to discover!

Stop accumulating comfort and move out of this danger zone.

Move into the vision and live out what i've been borned for.

Live out my potential =)

What have I chosen?

To be ignorant? To let someone else do it?

To be complacent? To stay in my little box?

Am I busy on the move or busy trying to be comfortable?

What am I building?

What have I been accumulating for myself?

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matt 6:21

(Learn to Raise beloved mature sons and daughters.)

Step by Step

2010-05-01T11:46:00.001+08:00

I'm captured by Your holy calling

Set me apart

I know You're drawing me to Yourself

Lead me Lord I pray...

Ordained, not a coincidence that yesterday the pieces just fitted in together.

A silent fear and inadequacy that has slowly densed all desire to do all that I want to do.

Cos it is so incredibly scary. And I know its not going to sound like the stories.

Words cannot capture every emotion present. boldness and fear. excitement and disappointment.

Will I actually end up doing that which my young heart once desired?

Or is there something else in store?

I know it would be as easy as my young mind once thought it to be.

But let not my mind now be a demotivator.

What do You have planned out Lord?

Whatever it is, though I still don't see the bigger picture,

How is it all going to turn out,

Where will I go?

I'll keep walking towards it.

The little dream I believe You've placed inside me.

And one day I know I'll find my place and part in it.

2010-04-30T09:14:00.000+08:00

Five years, Two years, Four months.

Time flies.

Nearing, yet still a long way more.

When Lord?

Do I still wait?

I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

You, O Lord, ordain my path.

Nothing is hidden from You.

Since my youth, O God, You have taught me

And to this day I declare Your marvelous deeds.

Even when I am old and gray,

Do not forsake me, til I declare Your power to the next generation.

Your might to all who are to come.

~ Psalms 71: 17-18

Take me in to the Holy of Holies.

Take the coal cleanse lips,

Here I am

Ordain me to declare Your marvelous deeds, Your power, to the next generation.

This is what I want, what I want to do.

You do not receive because you do not ask.

Today, I ask.

Lift up ur Eyes

2010-04-28T08:25:00.000+08:00

Well, had my first day of class and it really wasnt too bad ^^

Totally enjoyed history class (minus the 5 mins i nodded off at the 1st period) hehe!

Still backlogging one assgmt frm last sem due Fri.

I ought to get half done by today. then work on it again tmr night.

Shall not waste anymore time blogging but head right to work!

Just thought i'll update a happy note (:

I'm glad to be back! Cos now i dont want the week to end. hahaha.

waiting for my..........

Searching for Mr. +tive!

2010-04-24T22:49:00.001+08:00

In a horrible whine-y mood :(

I don't want the semester to start again on Monday cos that would mean:

Packing and Unpacking everything into the New room!

Carrying everything up the 4 flights of stairs (>.<)

Class starts on Tues.

And, my holidays have not even begun yet!

X.X''

Plus point:

Found out who's my New Roomie though :D

Will intro her when i get a pic together. hee

Think, I'm going to have cake and then sleep.

I need my 'break' before the long day begins again tmr.

grrrawr!

Not giving up

2010-04-24T22:03:00.001+08:00

Why do you keep hiding that which you do?

Why do you keep compromising that which is right?

Why clutch on so tightly to the temporal?

Does not your heart tell you what is right?

I don't understand...

I cannot take away the pain or erase away the hurts.

I cannot give you a new blank sheet of paper to start it all over again.

But i know of Someone who can.

Someone who's standing there waiting for you to hold your hand.

Someone who'll say, "I understand."

(:

I was

2010-04-22T23:51:00.000+08:00

really semangated to get work done b4 i left home. But now that i'm back. All i wanna do is hop right into bed (:

Managed to wake up early thinking i had overslept. heh :P

Lets see how it goes tmr.

I will have a productive day tmr! :D

Daily Dose

2010-04-21T22:03:00.002+08:00

(= just a little update before i continue my readings and work on a one page reaction paper.

Slept little and so eyes were just struggling to stay wide awake from 3pm onwards.

Then again. it could've been the tears streaming down my face from watching Marley & Me. hehh.

Anyhow, thank God I'm home and changed to my glasses :)

Watching that show later on made me think do I really want to grow up?

I have taught about it, but seeing the little bits and chunks one sacrifices as they grow up

Makes me wonder if i'll be able to do it and remain sane.

Some would say i already am not too sane to begin with =p

I guess letting go is part and parcel of the process..

But i guess the one thing that assures me is this: my God is the same yesterday, today and forever.

And if i remain in Him, I will not be shortchanged of anything and everything.

btw, i find fring to be such a cute smiley emoticon! :D

Meet....

Another 24 hours GONE?

2010-04-21T00:22:00.002+08:00

it is terrible how time flies by :( i wish i had the superpower to stop time! muahahaha.

*CLICK!*

Had just spent an hour plus talking to a friend.

Now,

To get to bed?

To watch a movie i've been wanting to watch?

Or to do work so that i can check off the TO-DO?

*pouts*

They're ALL equally important arent they? *grins*

priorities. It's like the rules we live by *bleugh!*

Cinderella Talk

2010-04-19T20:32:00.001+08:00

In the midst of assgmts, I was doing a little blog hopping :P

and it made me realize how much i've missed blogging!

(And by that I mean the short little happy updates).

The draining plug is lifting as I complete the final portions of this assgmt.

Looking forward to finishing it soon so that I can start on the next one.

Fret not my dear.

Don't let your eyebrows work into a frown.

Know that it will be done.

On a side note, my carriage has turned into this! thanks to Eu-juin.

Now how am i supposed to get around before midnite? :P

hehe :P

Okay, back to hopefully what would be the last lap of work! (:

Easy Talk

2010-04-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

Have been feeling tired, lethargic, my strength & discipline failing me

There is a constant battle for focus and concentration.

Feelings constantly trying to get the upper hand,

threatening to 'take over'.

Is it a sign of getting older so my body cant take the late nite abuses?

*sigh*

To walk by faith and not by feel,

Lord, it is so so hard.

I do have secret longings to back down

(then slapping myself awake to not give in to these crazy thoughts)

Not having the 'drive' to gear up one more notch.

Yet i say I want to accomplish more and not stay stagnant.

My body fails me

Feel like i'm just barely making it..

Still You choose not to let me go off easy.

Assuring me thru

Psalms 73: 25-26

My heart and my flesh, many times they fail...

but there is one truth that always will prevail

God is the Strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I guess it boils back down to 2 Cor 5: 7
"We walk by faith and not by sight."

Through the feelings, though I dont see why and whats ahead,

To press on and pull through cos that is the only way I'm going to grow.

Help me Lord to always always be reminded of the call.

Why I'm doing what I'm doing (:

Time to

2010-04-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

Stop living for myself and start living for Him.

Time to bear the cross.

Can I continue resisting and standing afar?

Forgive for the many times I've said draw me close, I want to know You more

But when You come near and beckon me I take steps backwards

Because I really am scared Lord, even though I know all the plans You have for me are good.

The closer i get to You, the more surprising, the more demanding life becomes...

The more of myself I have to deny, give up and perhaps crucify.

Still I hear You calling me, saying its time.

I can no longer shut my ears to Your calling,

No longer I that live but Christ who lives in me...

I want to know You,

I want to know the power of Your resurrection,

Know and share in the fellowship of your sufferings.

I'll take up my cross daily and follow You.

Thank You for Your grace is sufficient and will abound within me.

Thinking of Looking for

2010-04-09T23:45:00.001+08:00

a needle in the haystack.

Are you worth it?

We'll see :)

Am i willing to let go of what i think is precious so that He can put into my heart what really is?

It has been a long tiring but superb week. (Thank You Jesus!)

Done with Semester 1 of 2010.

It has been 3 months of stepping back, evaluating, knowing myself more ~~and half the time not liking it.~~

What a process. But i guess it is all good to be less of my likeness, more in His likeness.

Okay, I really need to crash already.

Looking for needles in the haystack is O_o work! haha (:

Focus and Prioritize Angeline, and Sanity will be your good friend :)

g'nite. Just so glad to be home early on a Friday night and what more after a good shake up, challenge your passion prayer session @ church =)

Its not as easy as is seems.

2010-04-03T13:06:00.003+08:00

One of those days inadequacy is creeping up on me.

The battle is to be won.

The tightrope to be walked upon.

Victory is His.

It is at sight. But i see it not.

It seems like if i compare myself with others

(in a positive way)

I am nowhere near good at anything.

Who am I kidding?

I'm not pretending to be anyone else.

But still I know I'm not who I am (supposed to be yet).

It isnt self pity,

neither a sense of hopelessness.

A momentary pit stop.

What are you showing me

But that there is a long long way to go

In this journey of mine.

I don't want to be superficial

Neither over-spiritual

But one truly tested and refined by Your holy fire.

Today's cry within me is renewed.

Lord I don't want to be the same.

Would You place in me a heart like Yours?

I really wish I could do so many things.

Preach, teach, be sensitive to You,

Sing, dance, compose songs that speak of You.

Wish I could be more creative,

Have sparks of cleverness.

Had more wisdom and knowledge.

More love,

More grace,

Like my name represents.

Let them be like a garland upon me

That guards my heart and conduct.

The standard I weigh my decisions.

I could keep going on walking and running

Not knowing where I'm heading.

Could keep doing what I'm doing just as I'm going through a routine.

Senseless.

Hoping to not wake up from this dream that

continues to trap and draw me into its lair.

I cannot go on another step without Him.

I cannot ignore that I'm trudging next to the path I'm supposed to take

Instead of walking on the path.

I must seek Him.

Acknowledge that my own sufficiency is insufficient.

I am not my own motivation.

God I need Your grace as much as any other person.

I need to hear Your voice guiding me and not just my own cleverness.

I need Your gifts that I don't have to keep striving for 'excellence'

My heart is so heavy.

I'm waking up and walking in a reality

That my life is not my own.

But one thats living for You

Cos You need 100% of me.

And if I don't start today I'll never be tomorrow.

People need to see Him

Not me.

See Him in me.

Its not as easy as it seems.

The moulding.

The resistance sometimes stronger than the desire.

What else can I do?

You're telling me there are no shortcuts.

I have to walk this tightrope.

Therefore, since I am surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses.

Let me throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let me run with perseverance the race marked out for me.

Let me fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith,

Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross,

Scorning its shame,

And sat down ar the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider Him who endures such opposition from sinful men,

So that I will not grow weary and lose heart.

In my struggle against sin,

I have not yet resisted to the point of shedding my blood.

And I have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses me as His child.

"My child, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,

And do not lost heart when He rebukes me.

Because the Lord disciplines those He loves

And He punishes everyone He accepts as His children."

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating me as His child.

For what child is not disciplined by his father?

If I am not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline),

then I am illegitimate and not a true child of His.

Moreover, my human father has disciplined me and i respect him for that.

How much more should I submit to the Father of my spirit and live!

My father disciplined me for a little while as he thought best;

But God disciplines me for my good,

that I may share in His holiness.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

Later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace

for me who has been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen my feeble arms and weak knees.

Make level paths for my feet,"

So that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Hebrews 12: 1-13

And hopefully turn out into a fine tightrope walker!! :P

haha :) thank You Lord for this rope I am walking on.

*It is VERY VERY VERY important to know that tightrope walkers do not look down :)
So Help Me LORD to Fix My Eyes on You and NOT LOOK DOWN!!! :P

mimilolo

2010-03-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

If alice in wonderland had so many mushrooms.

My wonderland would be filled with....

and

*grins*

Okay, now BACK to assgmt..

No place else...

2010-03-27T01:34:00.000+08:00

When my heart betrays me.

I sit and note to myself how much I need to be satisfied in You.

A lesson I'm still learning.

Probably will never stop learning.

To be satisfied with You and You alone.

To be satisfied in Your love and Yours alone.

I will sit and note to myself.

Again and again. If i have to :)

I wanna be no place else. But with You

I want!

2010-03-27T00:56:00.002+08:00

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have this dream I wish tonight.

Strange having this song playing in my head.

Question!
Can a girl have too much she doesnt need more? =p

Just saw a bracelet and a pair of earrings @choobs which i like!

But i had told myself no more buying earrings (and trinkets) cos I have so many I dont even wear!

Lol.

Growing up is making me realize more and more about myself.

Yesterday, during our super exciting time at small group,

On top of taboo, mcd's and laughter,

we were asked if we had the chance to be an animal, what would you choose to be?

My first response was to be a lion!

~~(so that i can rawr! and swallow ppl up)~~ (>.<) not very ladylike huh? =P

But when i thought about it, the animal I probably want to be is a sheep.

so that I don't have to be responsible all the time,

cos sheep they eat, sleep, eat, sleep and still are useful cos they grow fleece!

And paling teruk pun jadi lambchop lo.

Dumb sheep. Baaaa =p

But really, we are called sheep who should know the Masters voice.

And I would also hope to be a sheep that hears my Masters voice and obey Him.

The sheep of His pasture...

As duhh as can be, but trusting in the Master's staff.

beeeekk.

uh oh

2010-03-25T01:58:00.000+08:00

once again caught in the deadline of assgmts.
Its time to call an end to tonites attempt.
Din't manage to accomplish all i had in mind to do :(
But tmr evening b4 class i shall get them done.

This calls for focusing! Sound the alarms! :)

sweet dreams me. :)

A new love

2010-03-22T15:47:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to realize how full of myself I am.

So i pray, today

Let the "I" in me decrease, to be more like You.

Help me to love being more like You.

As hard as it is,

John 3: 30 - He must become greater, I must become less.

So that I don't disqualify myself from the testimony which I carry.

But boast all the more of this love that's living in me!

Don't go hiding

2010-03-22T03:14:00.005+08:00

There are times you will be different because you are.

In the same way, let your light shine before others,

so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:1

Let the siren lights shine!

Blare the honks, Sound the alarms!

Don't play hiding under the bushel.

We are the light of the world!

hearts!

2010-03-20T00:53:00.001+08:00

kay, bit cheesy but *i hearts!*

youth ministry,

watching movies,

hanging out with them..

Got trashed at bowling

[I seriously cant bowl for the life of me and i have a strange feeling my arms gonna ache and grow some muscles. Lolx]

Got my partner and i trashed at pool cos i was really bad at it. Heee :P

Told myself that if i have a child, i'll make sure they know how to play games so that they wont be so malu-fied in front of their friends. hahaha!

:) or maybe just teach them not to be sore losers =p

It has been a while since i had the entire day to PLAY!

It was just non-stop from 10am.

Sent sis to tuition, pick up 3 lovely girls for Outing #1, Dropped them off at 1U,

Went to pick up sis frm tuition, Went back to 1U to join the youth there,

Bowled, lunched, pooled, sent girl back home,

Go to Curve for outing #2, dinnered,
watched Alice (or in friends words mushroom wonderland -.-''),

Sent boy home, headed to house #3.

They were eating and watching Percy Jackson [and his gorgeous eyes =p].

Finally, at 1130pm Home!

I must conclude 19 March 2010 as my most happening day since the year started. hehe!

Serving in this ministry sure has it PERKS :P

But i made me realize how much i need to keep up with the times and at the same time learn how to appreciate every moment with them cos they are empowering moments!

Thank You Lord for the opportunity and privilege to be part of this team.Do work within me, grant me a greater passion for these your children :) To have a heart for them, to build them up in Your ways, to speak truth into their hearts, to spot the potentials they can realize, to love them to life =)

Let this joy of mine be complete (:

For Who You Are...

2010-03-16T02:04:00.002+08:00

I will TESTIFY of You and SERVE You all of my days.

For not only are YOU the Faithful God of my today, yesterday, tomorrow.

But also the Faithful One through the years, through the generations.
Not only to me but to every people, in every nation.

To all who would call upon Your Name :)

You deserve my HIGHEST praise!

Threshold?

2010-03-14T00:25:00.000+08:00

am i there yet?

sometimes i get so tired i wish the ground would just open and swallow me up :(

but if i can't even bear all these little little frustrations, how am i going to grow up and handle more?

Help me past the test of my "lou hei" -ness.

if only tiredness would not deter me from chugging on further.

So many demands and deadlines to meet.

So many distractions.

But do I cut myself off from all the things i find as fun and relaxing? NO!

Just that... I need to manage my time a lot lot better.

Need to raise people up.

God grant me the wisdom and discernment to see the potential and tap into them.

Refresh me*

Remove the things stopping the threshold from being broken.

Build me a bridge across? :)

do a DEEPER work in me

2010-03-10T00:26:00.004+08:00

In my life Lord, be glorified.

Have i really captured the full meaning of this?

Do I really glorify Him in all I do?

I cant give no excuses about it...

But neither do i breathe condemnation upon myself.

Lord, I know You've been speaking to me,

challenging me to check if my actions,

my thoughts and my words have been pleasing and glorifying to You.

Convicting me when Your Holy Spirit 'catches' me.

I do want to glorify You more and more each day.

In my weakness be strong, be real, let Your power be made perfect.

As the road gets harder,

I don't want to be complacent and stagnate where I am.

I'm not satisfied.

I want to walk the road of discipline.

I want You to be glorified.

more than I want to be comfortable.

Let everything that I am, glorify You.

Love You Jesus.

I shall

2010-03-06T00:54:00.000+08:00

not blog tonight.

Upon hindsight

2010-03-04T00:46:00.002+08:00

and foresight...

I realized how petty i have been.

I know.

Its just that some things annoy me more than other things do?

But as I was reading John and sitting in class hearing about how fast things are heading towards the end times, i couldn't help but realize that there are many more important things in life that should matter to me more than my rawrness.

I was upset and trying to coax myself out of it by singing happy songs :p

While the other part of me just could not be bothered because I thought I had every reason to be offended about it (>.<)

But if I really want to live my life by making it count for Christ
I need to learn how to overlook things of these sort, come from a different angles and move on.
Think i need to also learn the art of 'giving face'. haih..

I guess I'm really learning more and more each day (:

The blogger is 'back' though not necessary with enlightening stuffs but its some of these scribbles i think i should make note of =)

Its not been the hardest of days and weeks.
but i sure wish for it to be more productive and for longer hours for rest! haha :P

ahh :) donuts are here!

2010-03-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

The JOY spread across my face

The smug feeling in my heart

The satisfaction when one puts a (Tick) on an assgmt done.

Haha.

its one of those days.

Been trying to stay afloat with my assgmts.

Wrestling with time and feelings of laziness.

Falling asleep while 'listening' in class.

Help me God.

I don't just want to keep doing and doing without being whom You've called me to be.

I'm still in the process of figuring lots of things out.

Learning the tricks of the 'trade' but knowing that it's NOT about barely surviving.

It's lasting through the ministry.

Fearful but I know You are faithful.

So I will be still and know that You are God.

Every time i pick up a book and every time i step into class,

Help me learn more about You,

Help me know You in a more personal way.

You're a Person, Its a relationship.

so it will be

2010-02-28T23:42:00.002+08:00

one of those exceptional monday mornings where i will hit the road earlier than usual for the 8am class. O.o

as bible school student i usually have my mondays "off". i.e. no class cos we work* on weekends.

*technically our work is serving @ church :)

so monday is our 'free'-day. that's if its not already loaded with duties/to-do's/lunch appointments/places to run to/errands to do before catching up with sleep =p heh.

But i've been learning my lessons again and again. and it makes me wonder why do i take so long to learn them? Each time i think i've passed the test i am once again approached by the same 'overwhelming' feeling of too much to do and i want to just run! or shove some things off my plate.

But it really isnt quite possible.

I've found myself telling myself "PRIORITIZE" a hundred and one times but i just never seem to get the stuff on my "TO-DO LIST" any shorter.

and to make matters worst, time flies and in an hour it will be march! grrawr!

SO,

I commit my day and my days to You.

(Every hour, every minute, every moment of my 24 hours, 7 days a week).

Help me to do what's important and what's priority and work towards getting all things done.

But above that, HELP ME not to be frustrated when there are additions to the list and when timing and priorities change.

Jesus in John 2 at the miracle in Cana asked "...why do you involve me for My time has not yet come?"

It felt so 'eureka!' when i read it. haha.

All my feelings of arrgh! why do you wake me? why bother me? why me? Its not even time yet! the alarm hasnt rung! Later lah. Must meh? I have got so many other things to doooO! (>.<) all 'clicked' in that instant.

Familiar feelings?

Well, i guess it's one of those processes one goes through after 'signing' "Not my will, but Yours be done."

lol.

I really don't know if Jesus' response was really like how i'm describing mine to be. But one thing i know is that He still did that miracle. And, no matter how He felt, He went all the way and endured the cross because He knew His call and said "yet not my will but Yours be done".

What kept Him going was His love, God's love, for You and I.

Likewise Lord, grant me the Love that will keep me going.

For a greater breakthrough every year,

Each day, I'll learn my daily lessons.

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Luke 9: 23

round and round

2010-02-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

up and down.

tug of war.

ah. random thoughts on a Friday night.

i shall/shall not entertain?

i ought to spend a bit more time allowing myself to unwind and reflect.

A lot of stuff, lessons in class, lessons out of class that i've not fully downloaded.

It is to my benefit to take some time to allow it all to sink into the heart :)

Lord,

Help me be truly satisfied in You.

Help me not be so caught up with myself.

Help me be so desperate for more of You.

Help me search the scriptures like the Bereans did.

Help me search for You with all my heart.

Help me eagerly desire for the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Help me pray more for the ppl around me whom I love,

Help me have Love.

It has been a crazy week.

Classes in the morning, classes in the night. Rushing for assgmts, Having exam/quiz, meetings, duties, urgent emails to be sent out, decisions to be made, trying to sleep by 12.30 and waking up 6.30, realizing deadlines, keeping calm, lolx. If i were supergirl then i wouldnt be falling sick! hehh :P

I will survive (=

and so will you! hehe. all of you (:

i like

2010-02-22T00:11:00.001+08:00

blue eyes

and

a pair of ipanemas.

okay. an update for the sake of updating. hee.

but i must say, I really think God loves me much :)

was driving home and felt reminded.

God, You never overlooked. Thank You.\(",)/

..::° εn†iмos мoмεn†s °::..

Someone better than I

countdown!

Pledges

Happy Birthday (:

Dealings...

a question unanswered

Hands

Pink with thorns

My Question Answered

Are U in...

i remember...

Letting Go

sudden realization...

somewhere within

Just to be lost in You (:

Please,

hello!

The Grace of Giving

More of U (:

Pay Attention

Mandarin Day =P

Take it to the Lord in Prayer

Hello CNY 2011

New Hairdo?

My CNY

Toning down =p

10 Words...

Blessed to have U (:

mental notes.

To be more like You

Girly time!

Back in BCM

friendships.

The Good Times..

As the end of the year draws nigh...

brambles!

I'll just...

of priorities & grace

What Do You See?

If not for You

Having the sneezies!

A Lochinvar

Paint me a Rainbow

An old song

Beautiful Feet

I pour my love on You

Checked the date - a milestone!

*kaching!*

the slowdown, is a must!

On Bended Knees

Slow down!

So freely He gave

4am

Checking in! :)

To try or not to try.

The Author

The Author

Through Christ

Turn off the sparks!

Lil. Miss Bossy

Happenings @ Chung Chit

Sometimes,

Check in!

In this place again

Sometimes I wonder

me thinks.

Backtracking

Treasures in pots of gold or in lives?

Step by Step

Lift up ur Eyes

Searching for Mr. +tive!

Not giving up

I was

Daily Dose

Another 24 hours GONE?

Cinderella Talk

Easy Talk

Time to

Thinking of Looking for

kaching!